Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
