3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
