i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
