My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
