you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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