I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
