I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
