How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am available for nakedness
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
