What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
