she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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