in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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