i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
