based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize