How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
NoShamevember. You game?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
