i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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