Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
