can u get pink eye on your cock?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
