i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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