Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize