singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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