i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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