You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
