My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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