that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
