i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
