he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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