i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This beer is not sobering me up at all
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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