I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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