I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
