good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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