How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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