I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
