my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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