If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
