he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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