just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
