I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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