im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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