Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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