She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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