so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
