I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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