can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
