Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
