thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
