You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
