did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Let's paint friendship bongs
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
