Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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