So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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