He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
