I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
