A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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