It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
