so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
