absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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