New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FUCK WHALES
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
