There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
