So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
