Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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