if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
