I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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