I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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