i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
