You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
